Victoria Cox.  April 2023.

It’s literally a tale as old as time, in every mammal over all of history there has been a baby and there has been milk. It has been widely documented that breastfeeding is considered the best start for a newborn with benefits for both the physical and mental health of both mum and baby. That’s not to say that a bottle-fed baby wouldn’t achieve the same great start in life, not at all, every journey is different, here’s mine.

When I had my first child I was going to breastfeed, it was 100% what I wanted to do, but I had a complicated delivery that resulted in me being rushed into surgery for 2 hours. During this time the midwives gave my husband a bottle for my newborn daughter which I now completely understand and appreciate, but at the time I was devastated, and I let it ruin the experience for me. Every time I tried to latch her onto my breast and I struggled I told myself it was because she preferred the bottle, this took over the first few months with my newborn, my mental health suffered, and I felt my bond with my baby break away with every bottle that I gave her. It all came to a head when one terrible health visitor (they’re not all terrible) made a comment during a weigh-in clinic about my baby’s eczema saying, “You know her skin wouldn’t be this bad if she was breastfed”! How dare she, she didn’t know me or my situation, I cried when I went back into the baby group thinking that I had caused her skin condition by letting that one bottle get into my head. Thankfully the very fabulous Allison (who now works at Amber Family) was there and was a huge support, I will never forget her telling me that none of it was my fault, babies get eczema regardless and that a happy mum was a happy baby. That was what I needed to hear, and that support was the start of my journey into a happier mindset and happier motherhood.

Pregnant with my second I was utterly determined to succeed in breastfeeding a second time around. I read and read, I watched videos, I went to groups and bought the gadgets. None of this prepares you for how hard it actually is but I preserved! I remember my husband watching me and saying he could see me physically recoil every time she latched on, the pain was incredible, but the reward was so much more and after the first 6 weeks I knew we had cracked it and I was over the moon. When my second daughter was 4 months, I joined Breaststart Sefton as a volunteer support worker. Breaststart was a breastfeeding support group that would keep in touch with the new mums after they were discharged from the hospital and do home visits to help support mums in their breastfeeding journey. Some weeks I would do the contact calls, some weeks I would do home visits but eventually, I ran my own breastfeeding support group in town. I loved seeing the friendships these new mums formed and the support that they gave to one another. Unfortunately, Breaststart had its funding withdrawn in 2016 and I was devastated that my support journey had come to an end. I continued to support friends when their babies arrived and even ended up back in touch with an old work colleague who reached out for help over Facebook. My third daughter came and our breastfeeding journey was a dream, it came like a second nature and lasted for 19 months, she doesn’t remember any of it now and thinks it’s gross when I talk about it, but I will always remember.

During my first few weeks at Amber Family a new mum arrived, an email was sent out to say that she was wanting to breastfeed but was struggling. I emailed the key worker and told them I was on the night shift that night and I would help with positioning and latching. It was a long night and that family eventually moved over to another house but I like to think she took some of my advice over with her as she was still breastfeeding when she left us. Another family and another breastfeeding mum, this mum had it in the bag, she didn’t need any assistance but loved to chat with me about breastfeeding and how it made her feel. She shared a lovely bond with her baby and although her nights were tough and she was a bugger for a co-sleep, she persevered and clearly loved what they had achieved together. Strangely all these mums have been in the same bedroom at Amber Grange and my latest breastfeeding buddy left only a few weeks ago. This mum had had previous children but this was her first breastfeeding journey. Our first breastfeeding chat came when she brought up her belief that she was suffering from a low supply. I asked her what she had to eat and drink that day and when she told me the issue was clear, she wasn’t drinking anywhere near enough. I talked through the importance of drinking and eating the right things, she needed to up her water intake and I told her to get snacks for when she was feeding and chatted around cluster feeds, confirming that it was absolutely normal to be stuck feeding for a few hours at the end of the day. Pretty soon she was making up flapjacks for the house and drinking water like no one’s business and the supply issues ebbed. Next, she was concerned about the amount of milk she was able to express, she needed to express milk for babysitting and in the event that staff had to look after the baby, she was clearly struggling with the pump she had so I brought in 2 of my own pumps for her to try. She found these much easier to use and was soon expressing multiple ozs daily. She next came to me concerned about feeding in public and wanting advice on feeding bras. I just so happened to have a bag of feeding bras in my boot that a friend had asked me to take to a charity shop. I brought them in and she went through them and picked one out, the sizes were a little off but I was able to demonstrate different ways to discreetly feed in public, I explained how I used to layer my clothes to make it as discreet as possible. She took all of this in and on my next shift, she told me she had ordered more of the bras I had given her and that she had been practising with the clothing layers and was working towards feeding in public. The day I came into work and she ran down to tell me that she had managed to feed the baby in town by herself I just burst with pride, she had come so far and she was so unbelievably happy, their journey was complete, there seemed nothing else left to pass on other than my heartfelt congratulations. Before she left Amber she left my breast pumps on the mantlepiece, fully sterilised and back in their boxes along with a box of chocolates and a thank you card. It read “just wanted to say a massive thank you for all your help and support with our breastfeeding journey. You really helped us lot and we won’t ever forget”

I’m going to keep this card forever, it is up there as one of my proudest moments and I feel so grateful to have the opportunity to be able to support new mums in this way again