How do we measure Positive Parenting?

Nicola Miller.  January 2021.

As a parent myself and a parenting assessor, I have lots of experience demonstrating positive parenting as well as observing positive parenting. Unfortunately, there is no official ‘textbook’ on how we positively parent our children and we learn a lot from how we were parented ourselves and from watching others parent. As an only child, my parenting experience will be somewhat different to a child who has grown up in a family home with lots of other siblings, I did not have the hustle and bustle of a busy family home; mine was more tranquil and calming, however, I do not feel being an only child affected the way I was parented nor taught me anything differently in respect of parenting.

As I have mentioned above there is no official ‘textbook’ on how we should or shouldn’t parent our children however the most important thing is that if we decide to become a parent we accept our responsibilities for our children and make them the main priority in our life. So yes, there might be no more nights out with friends, no more buying expensive clothes & shoes and no more sleeping past 7 am at a weekend, however, this will be replaced by the unconditional love that we receive from our children.

A child requires their parents (whether this be both parents or just mum or dad) to meet all their needs, all of the time and to prioritise them above their own needs and wants, unfortunately not all children receive this commitment from their parents. Throughout my career at Amber Family, I have worked with parents who are able to fulfil this role to their full potential and thrive within their role as a parent.  I have also however worked with other parents who are sadly unable to do this, sometimes this is through no fault of their own, while some parents make a choice not to prioritise their children’s needs above their own.

Positive parenting can come in lots of different ways and the list is endless however here are a few examples of what I would encourage to all new parents… stay calm when meeting your baby’s needs; make meeting their needs your priority; talk to your baby; sing to your baby; read books to your baby; cuddle your baby; be kind to your baby; protect your baby from others who may cause harm and when possible take some time for yourself, this can be difficult however it is important that we look after ourselves to ensure we can fully look after our children.