By Vicky Cox, January 2024.

I can’t tell you how many times I have said that I wish I had gotten a career before having kids, after years in hospitality and customer service, I was ready to take a break and stay home with my girls. My husband worked away and with my girls being close in age I knew I would end up working to pay for nursery so it was decided I would stay home for a few years.

A few years turned 7, I thought about returning to work many times but I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do, I told myself it was pointless being away from the girls to do a job I hated and wished for so many times I had gotten a career in teaching, nursing, anything that I could return to rather than having to figure it all out again at 39 years old!

To fill the gap, I volunteered and got involved in as many things as possible that fit my particular skill sets. Then, fresh out of a global pandemic and straight off the back of cancer treatment, I found myself applying for Amber Family. Before I applied, I had never even considered a job in social care, what was social care anyway? As far as I was concerned my skills lay elsewhere, yes I was a dab hand at breastfeeding and thought I had done an ok job at raising kids but still, I had no idea how I would fit into the new world of parenting assessments that I was wandering into. As it happens my past experiences managed to give me all the tools I needed to start my Amber Family life and I managed to slide into my role as a support worker quite well, utilising what I knew whilst also learning to work using restorative practices.

This was a new one to me and before my interview with Gill and Lauren I had never even heard of the term “restorative practice”. A quick Google taught me that this was a term used to “describe behaviours, interactions and approaches which help to build and maintain positive, healthy relationships, resolve difficulties and repair harm where there has been conflict”. Gosh, seems like something we could all use in our lives hey? Turns out that changing my reactions and emotional responses to situations took a bit of time, and that’s ok. In my first Little Chat, I remember saying that, as a mum of 3, I was used to firing solutions out whenever problems or conflict arose and so was finding the restorative aspect of my role at Amber Family tricky however, as time went on, I became aware that I was actively holding back my responses and listening more. Instead of waiting for my turn to speak, I was learning to listen to the whole conversation and cater my responses to encourage parents to find their solutions.

What a revelation! Who knew that taking a step back, listening and learning to encourage individual accountability could change the entire way I dealt with a situation and its outcome, it was so rewarding and has even made its way into my home life as well.