Disclaimer: While these parents have helped us write their story and have given permission for it to be shared with you, their names and any identifying information have been changed to protect their identities. 

Kayley and Rory arrived at Amber Grove late on a Tuesday afternoon after travelling over three hours from the hospital where Rory was born. Kayley was exhausted and was expecting to arrive at some kind of prison, as Rory’s social worker had warned her that she would not like where she was going. Kayley recalls that whilst she was in labour, she was petrified of the unknown and didn’t want to push Rory into the world as she knew there was a high probability that Rory would be removed from her care immediately. Kayley was also worried about the damage she may have caused to Rory during her pregnancy, as she had continued to use drugs. After Rory was born, he had a seizure, which Kayley says she blames herself for and still feels guilty about. Other than that, Rory was healthy, but the entire pregnancy and birth were traumatic times for Kayley. 

Kayley remembers being surprised at how lovely Amber Grove was and that it was nothing like a prison. Kayley says it was a home from home at Amber Grove, and looking back, it was the most stable she had been in years, although she didn’t realise this until after she left. Kayley even asked Rory’s social worker if they could come back after a serious incident occurred with Rory’s dad. Kayley feels if she had gone straight home after having Rory, she would not have been able to care for a newborn. 

Kayley appreciates all the support she got from the staff at Amber Grove and does not feel she could have completed her assessment without them, which resulted in a positive recommendation. Kayley particularly remembers being offered support when making Rory’s first bottle, as she had never done this before. Kayley stated that she was not judged or made to feel bad for not knowing how to do this and continues to be grateful for the compassion shown by all staff. 

Over the course of the placement, Kayley felt that she surprised even herself, as she didn’t expect to get through the first three weeks, especially if Rory’s dad had joined the placement like she initially wanted him to. Kayley feels that she became a different version of herself whilst at Amber Family and regrets not being more open in the beginning. She recognises now that the staff just wanted to help and support her. 

Kayley was hesitant about completing the Life Skills courses, the Gateway Programme and Talking Therapy, but now it reflects how helpful they were and set her up to be able to care for Rory and be the Mummy she felt he deserved. Gateway helped Kayley to realise she was in a bad relationship, as she was not able to see this at first. Since leaving Amber Grove, Kayley has completed a Claire’s Law on Rory’s dad and was shocked that she was Victim F, as she was not aware that there were so many women who had experienced abuse at his hands before her. Rory’s dad always told Kayley that his ex-partners were all “psychos,” and she believed him, but she now sees that it was all him. 

Kayley supported Rory’s dad in visiting Rory and being a part of his life, as she wanted to be a family. Rory’s dad stopped turning up for contact, so Kayley has since decided it’s not in Rory’s best interest to see his dad, who is reported to still be using drugs. When talking about counselling, Kayley had had it before and felt it was a waste of time, so she was adamant that she wasn’t doing it again. Kayley is thankful that she was talked into this, as counselling was the best thing she ever did for herself, and is glad she gave it another go. 

Kayley was glad she had the option to complete her weekly meetings while out walking in the community with her Key Worker. It gave her something else to focus on, rather than being sat at a table, which made Kayley feel uneasy. Kayley liked seeing all the things she had achieved with Rory when reading her meetings, as she would often think her week was a bad one. 

Kayley and Rory are moving into a new house soon, and Kayley is looking forward to celebrating Rory’s first Christmas with her family. Kayley plans to go to college and study Health and Social Care. She worries that her past will hinder this, but she feels she has a lot of learning experiences to share. 

Kayley’s advice:

Life at Amber Grove was not always easy, but it was totally worth it. Staff are always on hand to help and support, and I miss having that in my life now. Take each day as it comes, and remember that other parents there are in different situations, so stay focused. Complete all the courses on offer; they will help you. I would tell everyone to complete a Claire’s Law if you are in a situation like mine, as you’ve nothing to lose; this is something I will continue to do with any new partner. 

Our summary:

We are so very pleased for Kayley and proud of all that she has overcome to provide a stable home life for herself and Rory. Rory is thriving and is a very happy baby, and Kayley clearly dotes on him. Kayley received positive recommendations at the end of her placement but had some testing times over the 12 weeks; however, she was able to pull herself through and accept all the support on offer. Kayley has grown in confidence and remained abstinent from drugs without any additional support. 

We all wish Kayley and Rory all the very best for their future together and are grateful she gave up her time to share her story with other parents.