Helen Tresadern.  January 2022.

From working with families for over 5 years at Amber Family, I have received a lot of feedback from them about their experiences and feelings about being in one of our settings. Some feedback relates to communal living, and some relate to the assessment process. Most parents are grateful for the opportunity to be with their children and have a chance to prove they can care for them safely. However, at the same time, almost all of them feel the pressure and strain of being ‘perfect’ as they are being monitored 24/7 and every part of their parenting is being scrutinised and assessed. In addition to this, their whole lives are being looked at with a fine tooth comb. Relationships, housing, budgeting, how they manage stress and upsetting news, court proceedings, cleanliness – everything!

The situation the families that reside with us find themselves in is unnatural. They are being asked to live with 3 other families that they do not know, as well as a staff team. This adds stress to an already stressful situation for them. It is important that professionals working with these families recognise this added pressure and understand the challenges these parents face during their time with us. During placements, we try our best to support parents and give them the skills and tools needed to manage this stress and pressure. We ensure they are listened to when they tell us how they are feeling.

I have spoken to a parent that we currently have in placement and asked them to summarise what they think the best and worst things are for them about being in a residential family centre. The parent explained that the best thing is the support she gets. She feels as though she has all the support she needs to care for her baby. She also explained that the staff in Amber make families feel welcome and offer lots of reassurance. She said if someone were to move in and be scared, she knows the staff would make them feel welcome and reassure them that they are safe. The parent explained that she also appreciates the bond she has built with staff members. She feels comfortable coming and talking to staff about things she is struggling with and thinks the atmosphere is quite relaxed. This parent said the worst thing about being in placement is the impact it has on her freedom. For example, she can’t just nip to the shops when she wants to, she has to wait for a staff member to go with her as she is currently fully supervised with her baby. The parent explained this is frustrating, especially when there are lots of appointments booked so staff may not always be available straight away.

Generally, when gaining feedback from parents at the end of the placement, no matter the outcome, they say they have been grateful for the opportunity to show their parenting skills, learn new skills and be given the chance to spend time with and build memories with their children.